101+ Most Funny Christmas Jokes 2020 of All Time

101+ Most Funny Christmas Jokes 2020 of All Time

Are you eagerly waiting to tickle the funny bones of your loved ones this Christmas? If yes, our compilation of the funniest merry Christmas jokes 2020, Hilarious Santa Claus Jokes, and Christmas knock knock jokes will leave you in splits.

Funny Merry Christmas Jokes 2020 

Festivals are there in our lives to remind that life is more than about earning money, owning luxurious stuff, and hopping on to the exotic locations for flaunting swoon-worthy pictures on the social media platforms. It’s about having a good laugh with the loved ones, finding happiness in the little things, and creating everlasting memories that you could see again and again at the old age and get nostalgic.

  • Why is Santa so frustrated?
    Because he only comes once a year and when he does it’s down a chimney!
  • What is a French Santa’s favourite Christmas drink?
    Eau, eau, eau!
  • What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
    An abdominal snowman!
  • How do you make an Octopus laugh?
    With ten-tickles, Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
  • Opened one of my Christmas presents and all that was in it was a single grain of rice?! …
    I think it was from my Uncle Ben
  • What does Santa use to measure?
    Santameters!
  • Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card???
    Because he went down in history.
  • Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
    A MINCE SPY
  • What does Christmas and weirdo’s have in comman?
    Fruitcake.
  • What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
    A Christmas quacker.
  • Where does Father Christmas go now for a well deserved rest?
    Santa parcs
  • just seen a squirrel in central park……
    would that be a furry tail in new york ?
  • How does Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker has got for Christmas?
    He felt his presents.
  • What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
    Tinsillitis!!!!
  • Heard in church last night- What do you call the helpers that work for Santa?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Subordinate clauses.
  • What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
    Chill out.
  • What do you call a blind reindeer?
    I have no eye deer.
  • Santa is the main Clause.
    His wife is a relative Clause.
    His children are dependent Clauses.
    Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Clause.
    Santa’s elves are subordinate Clauses.
  • Who makes toy guitars and sings ‘Blue Christmas’?
    Elfis.
  • What’s the similarities between the House of Parliament, and the stable Jesus was born in?
    Both were well supplied with Asses.
  • What do you get it you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Frostbite
  • What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling?
    An ELF-cicle
  • Who is Santa’s favourite singer?
    Elfis Presley
  • How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
    Nothing. It was on the house.
  • What kind of sandals do frogs wear?
    .
    .
    .
    open TOAD!
  • What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
    Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
  • How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born?
    They had a weigh in a manger.
  • What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
    The ELF-abet
  • What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?
    Tinsel-itis!
  • What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?
    When he gets a sweater but was hoping for a screamer or a moaner…
  • How did the man drown in his Christmas pudding?
    He was pulled under by a strong currant.
  • How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    He keeps a logbook
  • What did Jack Frost like best about school?
    Snow and Tell
  • How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born?
    Cos… They had a weigh in a manger
  • What do reindeer hang on there antlers?
    .
    .
    .
    Horn-aments!
  • “I hope we all had a good Christmastime. I bought my wife a false leg for Christmas. It wasn’t her main present; it was a stocking filler!”
  • Which sea creatures come calling at Christmas?
    Coral singers!
  • Why is Santa so jolly?
    Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

To make Christmas 2020 festival a fun-filled affair, funny Christmas jokes are there to give everyone heaps of laughter and propel them to grab their stomach out of pain because of laughing hard. Here is the freshest and the most funny collection of merry Christmas jokes 2020 that will chill the heck out of you and your loved ones. You can download these funny Christmas jokes 2020 and share them with those loved ones who will be far away from you this Christmas because of personal reasons. So, have your fair share of laugh by reading these funny Christmas jokes.

Best Santa Jokes 2020 | Funny Santa Claus Jokes with Images

Christmas is one of those rare festivals on which you can talk about day in and day out still never run out of the topics. However, one of the foremost talked about topics during Christmas is Santa Claus, a mythical figure that distributes gifts at night to kids sneakily. While the Santa Claus fascinates kids by leaps and bounds, adults make the outrageous fun of Santa Claus by making amusing Santa Claus Jokes.

  • How does Santa (that’s me) take pictures?
    With his North Pole-aroid.
  • What’s the biggest overhead in Santa’s accounts
    Private elf insurance!
  • What do you call a kid that doesn’t believe in Santa?
    A rebel without a claus.
  • What do elves answer when Santa takes roll call?
    PRESENT!
  • Why is Santa Claus afraid of chimneys??
    Because he’s Claus-trophobic
  • Why did Santa have to see a podiatrist?
    Because he stubbed his mistleTOE
  • Santa: What is Santa’s favorite pizza
    One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.
  • White Santa: Ho Ho Ho! Santa is here.
    Black Santa: Ho! Santa be here.
    Brown Santa: Go do your homework.
  • What did the Christmas cake go to the doctor?
    Because it was feeling crumby!
  • Mom: we will leave out cookies and vodka on Christmas Eve!
    Santa: You are too kind, I do have to be able to drive home though
  • Why has Santa got such a huge sack??
    …because he only comes once a year… Duh….
  • Why is Mrs Santa always upset at Xmas?
    Because Mr Santa empties his sack everywhere else except at home.
  • What did Santa tell to his wife?
    It’s gonna rein deer.

After hours of painstaking efforts, we have compiled the best funny Santa Claus Jokes 2020 that are bound to make you laugh hard. These Santa jokes are the epitome of hilariousness and competent enough to giggle the heck out of everyone. You can read all the Santa Claus 2020 Jokes at bedtime or when you are with friends and family members.

Funny Merry Christmas Jokes for Kids with Images | Hilarious Christmas 2020 Jokes for Kids

Who on the earth says that only adults can savor the fun of Christmas jokes but not kids? Like adults, kids also deserve to get a good laugh reading the funny Christmas joke for kids. As kids may or may not get the grasp of adult Christmas jokes, that’s why we have taken the pain of creating and collating the most funny merry Christmas jokes for kids that will entertain your little runts like nothing on the eve of Christmas festival.

  • How do you make opening your Christmas presents last longer?
    Open them with boxing gloves on.
  • Why can only tiny fairies sit under toadstools?
    Because there is not mushroom.
  • How do elves get up into the workshop attic?
    The Elflevator.
  • What does Santa Claus’ cat want for Christmas?
    Some new claus!
  • What does Father Christmas always go down the chimney?
    Because it shoots him!
  • What goes: now you see me, now you don’t, now you see me, now you don’t?
    A snowman on a zebra crossing!
  • The hours, the weather and the trend toward smaller chimneys.
    Nike won’t give him a lucrative side-contract.
  • Santa: “So little girl, what would you like for Christmas?”
    Girl: “I want a Barbie Doll and a G.I. Joe.”
  • What did the snowman and his wife hang over their baby’s crib?
    A Snow Mobile,
  • Why should you be careful at Christmas?
    Thera are mince spies about.
  • What do snowmen eat for lunch?
    Icebergers.
  • How does Jack Frost travel to work?
    By Icicle.
  • What is a mum’s favourite Christmas carol?
    Silent Night.
  • Why is it always cold at Christmas?
    Because it is Decemberrrrrrr!
  • Why are turkeys wiser than chickens?
    Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
  • What rains at the north pole?
    Reindeer!

Our collection of hilarious Christmas jokes 2020 for kids takes a subtle jibe on Santa Claus, elf, and Christmas decoration, the way adult celebrates Christmas, and the list is endless. Don’t forget to share these amusing Christmas Jokes for kids on social media platforms so that everyone can steal some laugh.

Christmas Cracker Jokes 2020

All Guys out there Merry Christmas to everyone and their family. How are you planning for this year 2020 Christmas? And one of the important things, have you written your silly and tide-bearing Christmas cracker jokes 2020?

You haven’t and you don’t know what to write. Then don’t worry. We have some written and some we have accumulated for you a number of silliest and luxurious 2020 Christmas cracker jokes, with which you love to crack your family during Christmas family dinner. 

  • How many kicks does it take to break a bed?
    1000
  • One night, a viking named Rudolph the Red looked out the window. He turned to his wife and said, “It’s going to rain.”
    “How do you know that?” she asked. “
    Because,” he replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
  • What’s the best cheese to hide a horse in?
    Mascarpone.
  • What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf?
    You are so last season.
  • Why are Christmas trees very bad at knitting?
    Because they always drop their needles!
  • What’s that lurking in the Christmas Tree…?
    A Mince-Spy!!
  • Why can’t you make clothes out of cheese?
    Because Fromage Frais.
  • Why did the tree grow teeth?
    Because it was a gum tree!
  • Which singer has the cleanest hands?
    Napkin Cole
  • What does Santa call his three-legged Reindeer?
    Eileen!!
  • What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?
    An egg
  • Did you hear about the guy who went for a cheap circumcision?
    It was a rip off.
  • What does the jalapeño say in the winter?
    I’m a little chilli
  • What did the monkey say when it got into a hot bath?
    Ooh ooh ooh…aah aah aah….
  • Why was the snowman rummaging through a bag of carrots?
    He was picking his nose!
  • What kind of lighting did Noah use on the ark?
    Floodlights
  • What did Cinderella say to the chemist when her photos failed to arrive?
    Some day my prints will come.
  • What do you call a group of sheep rolling down a hill?
    A lambslide.
  • Why is a man going to put his father into a sack like a man travelling to a certain great Eastern city?
    They are both going to Baghdad. (boom boom! oh, my aching sides.)
  • How did Mary and Joseph know baby Jesus was 6 pounds 12 ounces?
    Because they had a-WEIGH in a manger…
  • What do you call a group of Chess Champions arguing over who is the best in a hotel lobby?
    ‘Chess Nuts Boasting in an Open Foyer’
  • Why did the object leave the museum?
    Because it wanted to be a loan.
  • Why was Theresa May sacked as nativity manager?
    She couldn’t run a stable government
  • What’s a snowman’s favourite song?
    ‘Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow’
  • What do you give a person who has everything ?
    Antibiotics

Having fun with Christmas cracker jokes with family member and friends is an old tradition that people still love to have fun with. It is a bit impossible to say from where really this cracker joke tradition started but it is awesomely funny, that whether you get bored or get hilarious, it is here.

In life whether you have money or not, love or not, car or not, but you must have fun every time whether alone or with whomever you like. And celebrate the festival as you like having all the best Christmas cracker jokes 2020.

Merry Christmas Elf Jokes

As there are a number of traditions and dishes for Christmas Eve; there are so a great number of Christmas elf jokes 2020, that you can crack with your favorite elf or with your friends. And yeah before cracking a joke with an elf, know whether it gonna curse you or bless you.

  • How do you describe an elf who refuses to take a bath?  
    Elfully smelly.
  • What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
    Gnome on the range!
  • What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?
    A real Christmas Card!
  • What do you call an elf who teaches english?  
    A subordinate Claus.
  • What kind of money do elves use?
    Jingle bills!
  • Why did Santa tell off one of his elves?
    Because he was goblin his Christmas dinner!
  • Why do elves scratch themselves?
    Because they’re the only ones who know where its itchy!
  • If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
    Mistle-toes!
  • Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band?
    Because he had the drum sticks!
  • Where do you find elves?
    Depends where you left them!
  • What does Santa suffer from when he gets stuck in the chimney?
    Claustrophobia!
  • “What kind of money do elves use?” She bit her lip.
    “Jingle bills!”
  • “What is big, green and packs a trunk?” She giggled.
    “An Elfephant!”
  • What type of photos does Santa take?
    Elfies.
  • Christmas in July party tonight! I will scream “SANTA” at the top of my lungs and call every little person I see a South Pole Elf
  • Why was santas helper depressed?
    He has low ELFesteem.
  • San Francisco is trending. you know why?
    because that fun to say
  • What do you call a hot mom elf?
    A Melf
  • Where do the elves go to the toilet in the north pole?
    The igloo.
  • What do Santa’s helpers like to post on twitter
    Elfies!
  • Did you know that Christmas trees come from Hawaii?
    Sure, haven’t you ever heard the song, “O Tanning Balm”?
  • What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
    Gnome on the range!
  • Why do elves work for Santa?
    Because he is a jolly good fellow!

Some elves get angry quickly. So you must be cautious about it. Last year when Christmas was, I with my some friends made some cardboard elves and reindeer with Santa Claus. It was a school project that we did. The interesting thing was; there were Christmas elf jokes were written behind every piece of cardboard made elf. We colored them all and put them in various Christmas cracker boxes. 

And besides all, you do ask Santa, that what does he talk with elves, about what things? When you know, you tell us because we are curious to know. Here are all the best 2020 Christmas elf jokes for you all. Just try to please an elf with your true heart and it would make your whole life beautiful.  

Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes 2020

Every year Christmas falls on 25 December and this year too! So how do you like our this Christmas knock-knock joke. Although we don’t say knock but it is a Christmas knock-knock joke 2020, that you would love to add to your knock-knock jokes list.

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who ?
Wenceslas train home ?
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Snow
Snow who ?
Snow business like show business !
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Avery. Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Wayne
Wayne who ?
Wayne in a manger… !
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Donut
Donut who ?
Donut open till Christmas !
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Oakham
Oakham who ?
Oakham all ye faithfull… !
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Avery
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Holly
Holly who ?
Holly-days are here again !
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Rudolph
Rudolph who ?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil !
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Igloo
Igloo who ?
Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie… !
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Mary
Mary who ?
Mary Christmas !
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Our Wayne!
Our Wayne who?
Our Wayne in a manger!

These types of jokes are hilariously funniest thing on this entire earth. Simple sober and you can play with whomever you want to. Just leave some serious people who don’t understand in jokes! Santa Claus often plays with his reindeer Rudolph and his favorite elves. He loves to gossip. 

We have selected a list of best 2020 Christmas knock-knock jokes. You can best play all these jokes after Christmas dinner or in Christmas party. The fun is when a husband and a wife plays or a girlfriend and a boyfriend. 

Whoever has invented Christmas knock-knock jokes might have been knocking on someone’s door while other was not answering, who already knew who at the door, yet they ask who is there. It could be a theory. We could guess. Here are all the jokes below. And yes, Merry Christmas to you and your family! May God almighty pour blessings on you. 

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